A great man once wrote: “It’s Christmas time, there’s no need to be afraid”. And although you might not need to be fearful, your credit card definitely should be. It’s that time of year again folks where your favourite piece of plastic gets a whoopin’ just to ensure you get the very coolest gifts under the tree by the time the fat man squeezes down your chimney.
If you’re stuck for ideas what to buy
yourself your family and friends this year, take a look at our list of the 10 Must-Have Geek Toys for Christmas 2019, we’re sure we can help burn a hole in your pocket.
10. ICE HARMONY FLOATING BLUETOOTH SPEAKER
RRP APPROX. £80
Yeah, you could have a regular Bluetooth speaker, but why bother when you could have a floating one instead, bro? The ICE Harmony Floating Bluetooth speaker spins about a centimetre above its base allowing for an authentic surround sound. Imagine watching your favourite movie using this bad boy and feeling like you’re really there in the midst of the action? We’re not sure it works as well with porn though, so probably cross that one of your lists. You know who you are.
Amazon UK has these for around £80, which we think is dirt cheap for such a cool piece of tech.
9. MASTERS OF THE WWE UNIVERSE GRAYSKULL MANIA BUNDLE
RRP APPROX. UK PRICE TBC
When I was a kid, my sister made me my first WWF wrestling ring using a box, 4 pencils for turnbuckles, and elastic bands for ring ropes. Because I didn’t own any action figures I instead made use of my immense collection of He-Man figures instead. Fast forward 30 years and Mattel has stolen my idea and released it’s own WWE/He-Man mash-up playset called the Masters of the WWE Universe Grayskull Mania Bundle. I should be pissed at such blatant copyright infringement, but this is too cool to stay mad at them long.
The set comes with a wicked Castle Grayskull inspired ring, and a host of familiar WWE faces with inspired MOTU powers. The Bundle includes Terror Claws Triple H and the imaginatively named John Cena, but you’ll want to get your hands on the awesome Sting figure if you really want to up the ante.
8. DEMONIC PENNYWISE WITH FUNHOUSE POP VINYL
RRP APPROX. £30
Pop Vinyls really are the dog’s bollocks, and you can pretty much pick up any of them off the shelf and the recipient would be over the moon. That being said, if your favourite geek is into their horror movies then you could splash out and pick up the wicked Demonic Pennywise with Funhouse, as seen in IT Chapter 2, that’s just dropped.
Other exclusives either available now or for preorder include Lady Deadpool, Lord Voldermort with Nagini, Popeye, and an 8-bit Demogorgon.
7. BEETLEJUICE MONOPOLY
RRP APPROX. £30
What do you get the tabletop gamer who has it all? How about the ultimate real estate game for the recently deceased? This is a Hot Topic exclusive, so don’t expect this to show up in your local Works any time soon.
6. PENNYWISE FLOATING BALLOON LAMP
RRP APPROX. £30
Thirty English Pounds is a small price to pay to make your loved ones shit their pants every night before bed, isn’t it? Works best if your buying for someone named Georgie.
5. THE UPSIDE DOWN LEGO SET
RRP APPROX. £179
Lego continues to impress with their licensed merchandise, but perhaps the coolest new playset this year has to be the Stranger Things themed ‘Upside Down’. This unique build allows you to create both our world and the fabled Upside Down and can be reversed depending on your mood that day. The set also comes with some awesome Lego figures including Eleven, the Demogorgon, and Hopper. If the geek in your life (yes, that can also mean you) loves Lego, then this will make the perfect gift.
4. BABY YODA PLUSH
RRP APPROX. £27
Surprisingly there isn’t more Baby Yoda merchandise available this Christmas. Disney really missed the boat with that one! The best item we managed to find at press time was this expensive little plush. Yes, it’s almost £30 for a cuddly toy, but if the meme-frenzy is anything to go by, Baby Yoda is a license to print money for Disney going forward so why not get ahead of the curve?
3. NINTENDO SWITCH LITE
RRP APPROX. £199
The Nintendo Switch is easily Nintendo’s finest hour since the N64, but it can be pretty pricey, even now. That’s part of the reason those super awesome dudes have come up with the Nintendo Switch Lite, a completely handheld version of their top-selling console that is considerably cheaper than the standard edition. Don’t be fooled, this is every bit as good as the standard Switch, it just doesn’t have any home play functionality on your TV. So what? It’s easily the best hand-held on the market and would make your favourite geek very happy this Christmas.
2. RETRO ARCADE CABINET BY ARCADE 1UP
RRP APPROX £300-350
You can read all about our own adventures playing the incredible Street Fighter II cabinet by Arcade1UP here. But seriously, if you’re into your retro stacks then this is the ultimate gift for yourself or the gamer in your life.
So far, Arcade1UP has released only a small number of classic titles, which include the aforementioned Street Fighter II cab, but also Marvel Super Heroes, Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Mortal Kombat, Space Invaders, Pac Man, and a ton of others. Yes, you might find cheaper cabinets online, but these are the real thing – officially licensed and complete with a booster box allowing you to stand at the controls just like when you were back in the arcade. We honestly can’t say enough good things about the work Arcade1UP is doing, and we’re just hoping they appreciate our plugs enough to drop one of these babies into our stockings this Xmas. Please.
1. POLAROID PLAYSMART 3D PRINTER
RRP APPROX. £399
Not exactly a stocking filler, but easily one of the very coolest toys on the market this Christmas. The Polaroid PlaySmart 3D Printer is the ultimate home printing accessory and can easily connect to your home computer, laptop or mobile device. Whether you decide to use one of the free designs available to you or go with something more complicated like printing your own action figure, or even making a copy of your exes house key so you can sneak into their home while they’re at work and move all their shit around, just to mess with them – the choice is yours! And that’s why it’s our number one geek toy for Christmas 2019.
What will you be picking up this year? Share your Christmas wish list with us in the comments section below.