Celebrating Super Mario’s Scariest Villains
Don’t let the fact that the Super Mario games are family-friendly fool you.
He might be all smiles and peace signs when you meet him, but there’s no discounting the horrors that Mario has had to face in his long history as a video game hero. Don’t let the fact that the Super Mario games are family-friendly fool you either – some of the bad guys in his games are pretty creepy! That’s why, this Halloween season, we’re going to celebrate Super Mario’s scariest villains.
KING BOO
LUIGI’S MANSION
No Super Mario list would be complete without the Boos, especially one about the spookiest and scariest villains. They might act shy and demure when you look at them, but turn your back and the Boos will f*** you up – and not forgetting how King Boo is the only villain in the history of the Mario games who’s actually managed to capture and imprison Mario. Not even Bowser can say that.
MR. I
SUPER MARIO 64
Mr. I is a giant eyeball. He doesn’t do an awful lot except stare at you, but that’s creepy in itself. It’s like he’s constantly judging you, but you can’t tell if it’s in a good way or not because without an eyelid, or eyebrow, or face, to accompany him, it’s impossible to gauge his emotion. Plus the whole idea of a giant, floating eye is pretty effing creepy – imagine opening your curtains one morning and seeing that staring back at you!
MAD PIANO
SUPER MARIO 64
Mad Piano is a truly spooky creation. One minute it’s a piano, and the next, a snarling, carnivorous beast intent on devouring you. Imagine what this thing would do to you if you hit the wrong key? Perhaps scariest of all though is the fact that the Mad Piano serves no purpose other than to scare you. Nice going Nintendo, we’ll send our laundry bill to you, shall we?
MIMI
SUPER PAPER MARIO
She looks cute until she does her very finest Regan from The Exorcist impression, spins her head 360 degrees and sprouts long hairy legs, thus transforming into a spider. Yikes!
CACKLETTA
MARIO & LUIGI: SUPERSTAR SAGA
Do you remember Cackletta? Apart from having a hilarious sounding name (hu hu cack), she was also the nasty little shit-bag who tried to steal Princess Peach’s voice. If that wasn’t bad enough, she also hijacked Bowser’s body, gave him breasts, and called herself Bowletta, which is another hilarious name but a bloody terrifying sight.
GIGA BOWSER
SUPER SMASH BROS. MELEE
Holy shit! Just look at him! Giga Bowser was a beast. He looked more like something you’d find in a survival horror than in a Super Mario game. His flamelike hair and leathery skin were the results of OG Bowser dining on Super Mushroom, but instead of simply growing in size ala Mario, Giga Bowser instead became the stuff of nightmares.
What are your fondest spooky Mario memories? Let us know in the comments, on Twitter or over on Facebook. Thanks.
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