We recently watched Murder Mystery on Netflix so you don’t have to. You can thank us later.
For those reading this who skipped all the drama, Netflix has dug deep into its pockets to sign funnyman Adam Sandler to an exclusive deal, promising those lucky enough to have a subscription to the streaming service (or at the very least a password we stole from a family member) a plethora of movies by the man who made us laugh that one time back in the 1990s.
Murder Mystery – as the title suggests – is a throwback to the whodunnit movies of old, and sees an ageing Sandler as a New York cop take his long-suffering wife (Jennifer Aniston) on the holiday of her dreams to Europe, only to find themselves as the chief suspects in not one, not two, but, well … a lot of murders. The race is then on to prove their innocence to local authorities while continuously avoiding the chop themselves, which let’s face it, sounds like a bit of a busman’s holiday for the NYPD’s finest.
The real mystery in Murder Mystery is not who the murderer really is, but why – if Netflix is to be believed – did 30 million people have nothing better to do on opening weekend than watch this? Sorry, make that 30 million and 1. Whoever came up with Netflix’s viewing figures is about as convincing as Adam Sandler landing a wife as hot as Jen Aniston! And don’t get us started on Sandler’s moustache. No way is Rachel Green cuddling up to that every night – the damn thing might jump off his face and bite her at any minute. Someone needs to Sandy WAXler that thing right off his top lip, and quick.
In fairness to Sandler though, there was a time when sticking his name above a movie title would guarantee box office success, but like so many of his fellow comedians before him (Eddie Murphy we’re looking at you), he’s dropped off the radar following a series of poor career choices. That’s why the Netflix deal seemed so random, but maybe we were wrong about him? Maybe Netflix saw something in the former Happy Gilmore that the rest of us just didn’t? Or maybe the suits sitting in their ivory tower were just huge Jack and Jill fans? Either way, if the streaming service was hoping for the next Wedding Singer then they have failed in their task. Murder Mystery falls somewhere between Grown Ups 2 and Mr. Deeds, and that’s about as close to vintage Adam Sandler as they’re going to get.
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Jennifer Aniston was once pegged for big things after Friends went off the air, and Adam Sandler was already a big deal, but both seem to be phoning it in in this latest ‘romp’ from the fine people over at Netflix. Murder Mystery relies too strongly on tired humour and even more tired performances, which although completely acceptable for a throwaway straight to DVD popcorn flick, is a worrying sentiment for a streaming service usually known for its quality programming. Did Netflix cancel Santa Clarita Diest for this?
Beard Score: 5.5/10