Entertainment

This Ain’t Child’s Play: 5 Demonic Dolls From the ’80s That Could Kick Chucky’s Ass

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Ever since 1988, if you’ve been asked to think of the creepiest, most evil toy in the history of horror then you’d probably have said Chucky; and rightfully so. For 31 years, the demonic ginger doll has carved his own unique path through Hollywood, courting controversy along the way.

But was Don Mancini’s iconic creation really the baddest doll on the planet back in the 1980s? We’re not so sure. That’s why we’ve scoured our personal vaults to bring you 5 Demonic Dolls From the ’80s that could totally kick Chucky’s ass.

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5. JOEY – MAKING CONTACT, 1985

Joey

Making Contact was actually a fantasy film directed by Roland Emmerich (Independence Day), but the premise was still pretty creepy. A young kid who loses his father is harassed by a demonic ventriloquist dummy named Joey who has the power to summon otherworldly demons at a whim to ruin the kids’ life.

As far as first impressions go, Joey might not seem like a formidable foe for Chucky, but the fact that he can utilise any number of demons in his war with his adversary gives him an advantage, even if it’s an unfair one. But in a battle of possessed toys who’s to say what’s fair?

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4. TOULON’S PUPPETS – THE PUPPET MASTER, 1989

The Puppet Master (1989)

Chucky might have had a size advantage over Andre Toulon’s living puppets, but the sinister little marionettes have the numbers advantage, and eventually, we’re sure they’d be able to overwhelm the angry ginger bastard. Once subdued it would only be a matter of time before Pinhead, Blade, Jester and Leech Woman would be able to rip the soul of Charles Lee Ray right out of the Goodguy doll leaving him about as dangerous a foe as a Barbie doll.

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3. THE DOLLS – DOLLS, 1987

The Dolls 1987.png

Much like Toulon’s Poppet army in The Puppet Master, the dolls in Dolls would have a much-needed numbers advantage over their larger opponent. But perhaps the difference here is that the playthings in Dolls are also possessed by the spirits of evil and immoral people who have met very grim ends, just like Charles Lee Ray. Perhaps their biggest advantage then would be that they could extract the spirit of the Lakeshaw Strangler into one of their very own, leaving Chucky as nothing more than an empty vessel, and the real Chucky as a pawn in their own devilish game.

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2. CLOWN DOLL – GHOSTHOUSE, 1988

Ghosthouse 1987.png

What’s scarier than a possessed doll? A possessed clown doll, for sure! Clown Doll (if that’s actually its name) belonged to the spirit of a little girl and actually manages to manipulate an entire house – causing light bulbs to explode and heads to suddenly remove themselves from people’s necks. With those kinds of powers, Chucky would likely be no match at all, in fact, he’d be better off just staying inside his packaging.

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1. TEDDY – THE PIT, 1981

The Pit 1981

Teddy is the cute, cuddly friend of whipping-boy Jamie Benjamin. At least that’s how it seems until Teddy starts to commune with the boy, and comes up with a wicked way to dispose of Jamie’s bullies – feed them to a nasty bunch of creatures known only as the ‘Tra-la-logs’ that live in a pit in the forest and survive only on raw meat.

Teddy may not be a formidable foe for Chucky by himself, but with the help of Jamie and his own personal army of deadly creatures, we think he’d be a more than adequate foe for the dungaree wearing psychopath – especially when you remember that the longer Charles Lee Ray’s spirit remains inside the Goodguy doll the more ‘human’ he becomes, making him a nice hors d’oeuvre for the ‘Ta-la-logs’.

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What do you think? Would any of these dolls match up to Chucky? Which other demonic toys from your favourite 1980s horror movies would you like to square off with everyone’s favourite Goodguy doll? Let us know in the comments section below. 

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