Fight of Gods
Switch version tested
Review code provided
Jesus, By the beard of Zeus it’s Buddha
We love theology here at Two Beard Gaming, in fact three of our staff writers studied it at college and our chief editor happens to be an ordained minister. When a review code for Fight of Gods dropped upon our doorstep we all looked to the heavens and praised the Lord that we had been blessed with the release of such an important title.
Taiwanese developer Digital Crafter have brought to us this unique one on one fighting game where you can pit eleven of the worlds most powerful Gods against each other to find out who is really the most powerful deity of all.
Your choice of fighters is as follows:
AMATERSU, ANUBIS, ATHENA, GUANGONG, JESUS, MOSES, ODIN, SANTA, BUDDH, SIF, ZEUS
Now you may notice that many of these are not God’s but it doesn’t really matter, as everything I said in the opening paragraph is untrue also. Now if we look beyond the wow of playing as such powerful beings – we’re looking at you Santa – we can report that on the whole, as expected, this game smells worse than Moses’ sandals. Yes, this game is turd but you knew that when you observed this title from afar in the eShop.
How bad is it then? Well quite. I very much doubt that Sunday schoolers will be taking time out from Bible readings to show that Buddha dude that Jesus can kick his arse. No, if good Christian children were caught playing this game then I’d assume that St Peter would be telling them to fuck the fuck off when they are standing at the pearly gates.
Why is this bad then? I shall keep it short to save wasting your time and simply list what is bad about it.
- Low-resolution graphics
- Diabolical animation
- Atrocious collision detection
- Poor move set
- Unresponsive controls
- Vile Rock music
- Bare bones content
- A story written by an ape
To clarify this game is bad, if it were free we wouldn’t recommend it. The only part of the game that has any saving grace is Jesus’ intro. He breaks free of his crucifix, albeit with a chunk of wood still attached to each hand, no doubt to fuck people’s shit up, and mutters the barely comprehensible line in a strong American accent “I’m back for the people”. Sadly he is not.
Even Jesus could not forgive this sin!
Beard Score: 1/10
Nintendo Switch Essentials:
Platform: Steam, Nintendo Switch
Release Date: 18/01/2019
No. of Players: 1-2
Category: Fighting, Arcade
Download link: eShop