HN: Hide and Seek
Switch version tested
Review code provided
If you played the original game, which is actually the sequel then you will know that this sequel, actually the prequel, like the original we had the fortune to review is a load of old trash. Hello Neighbor: Hide and Seek (spelt incorrectly, as we are in the UK) is a follow-up, prequel, whatever the hell you want to call it – look to be perfectly honest it doesn’t really matter. The game is bad, we know that so let’s be constructive and detail why.
The back story, front story, whatever you call it, is not relevant. You control a kid playing a game of hide and seek with his brother, at least that’s what you do at the beginning. The problem with this game is that it is so broken I almost gave up after just ten minutes of playing and soon lost all motivation to replay. Even five minutes of that initial ten were spent rebooting and reloading the game several times as I thought my Joy-Con wasn’t working properly. Turns out it was actually a bug in the game, I say bug but actually mean lazy inept programming. So anyway, you hide and do other stuff, then for some reason you’re in a bizarre kids dream world, but still hiding. I don’t know what’s going on, I give up.
I guess one of the redeeming features could be in how the game plays, right? It’s sad to say that the controls are bad, and I mean like really bad. As I mentioned above, due to the way Hello Neighbor handles I actually thought my controller had not synced properly. Your character races about like a child with ADHD on a mixture of coke (the drug, not the refreshing beverage), amphetamines topped with a dose of Red Bull (the beverage, not a scarlet coloured bovine). To open a door you have to stand in the exactly the right position and press the right trigger with pixel-perfect accuracy otherwise you will end up looking through the keyhole as this action is mapped to the same button. I’m not entirely sure why the developers thought this was a good idea, the Joycon has plenty of buttons and not all of them are used in this game.
On the plus side of things graphically Hello Neighbor is passable, the characters have a larger than like cartoon look and the environments are colourful. Audio-wise things slip once more, the sound of the kid counting to ten in some sort of Sims-like language will being to grate on you after precisely ten seconds and it took me a good five minutes to open a door just so I could get away from the little git.
I had the good fortune to not play the original, sequel, first one of these whatever, and for that I am thankful. May I propose that in this season of goodwill to all men, you do as I have done, and pass on the good word that this game should garner no attention from anyone ever. May we also pray that no child is unfortunate enough to receive this game upon the morning of Christmas day as the controls are poor and the gameplay is trash.
TBG Score: 1/10
Platform: PC, Xbox, PlayStation, Nintendo, Mobile
Release Date: 07/12/2018
No. of Players: 1
Category: Adventure, Puzzle
Developer: Dynamic Pixels
Publisher: tinyBuild Games
Download link: eShop