Switch version tested
Review code provided
If you read my review of Tiny Hands Adventure and you love to read reviews about catastrophic and colossal mistakes in our video game world, then please do continue to peruse this article. SkyTime was developed by what appears to be a small team of six and published by Sometimes You. Now don’t get me wrong, the team aren’t on the same level as Hitler and about to commit genocide or invade a country, yet they have both done something which surely only they are proud of. The rest of the world looks on simply thinking what have you done? are you crazy?
I digress, so let’s cut to the chase. SkyTime is a bad game, it looks terrible, it sounds atrocious and plays like running through quicksand. It’s just poorly executed at every stage. The makers even have the cheek to compare it with the fun Superhot, yes you can slow down time but that’s the only comparison that can be made.
The intro plays out as six static images, which a blind man with Parkinson’s appears to have drawn, followed by a twenty-second narrative before finally we are treated to a very bland 3D world with a slight nod to the Mirrors Edge aesthetic. It’s right about now the pure evil of the game kicks in, let me explain. The story is as follows, whilst popping off to grab some hot chocolate for your family, they sadly get caught in an avalanche. This makes it all the more confusing that when the game starts our hero is on top of a skyscraper? The craziness continues, you have a magical watch which slows down the time and a wrench to use as a weapon. The wrench, of course, is not a regular wrench because it has the properties of a boomerang.
To summarise, here I am jumping across rooftops, slowing down time and throwing my wrench at laser-guided turrets. Oh, wait no I’m not, I’ve turned the game off because it’s not worth investing time into. I didn’t thing it was possible to say but this game is worse than Tiny Hands Adventure. And one more thing, why in the blue hell can’t I play this in handheld mode? There appears to be no reason for this. If some poor sucker pays for this game then a crime has been committed.