Game Reviews

Sky Time – Nintendo Switch Review

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Sky Time
Release 05/11/2018
Switch version tested
Review code provided nintendospacer

If you read my review of the colossal arse of a game, Tiny Hands Adventure, and you love to read reviews about catastrophic steaming turds in our video game world, then please do continue to peruse this article.

Hitler didn’t do it alone, he had the help of some friends; Heinrich Himmler, Hermann Göring, Joseph Goebbels, Martin Boorman and Albert Speer, sure there were other friends, but these guys really helped out the evilest man history has witnessed do some pretty bad things. Developer “Sometimes You” appear to be a small team of six, planning equally bad shit. Now don’t get me wrong, these guys aren’t on the level, they’re not about to commit genocide or invade a country, yet they have both done something which surely only they are proud of. The rest of the world looks on thinking, what have you done, are you crazy.

I digress, Sky Time is shit, it looks shit, sounds shit, plays shit it’s just simply arse. They have the cheek to compare it to Superhot, yes you can slow down time but that’s the only comparison.

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The intro plays out as six static images, which a blind man with Parkinson’s appears to have drawn, and a twenty second narrative in a thick European accent by what I assume was by the lead programmer, we are treated to a very bland 3D world with a slight nod to the Mirrors Edge aesthetic. It’s right about now the evil kicks in, the story is as follows, whilst popping off to grab some hot chocolate for your family, they get caught in an avalanche. So why then, when the game starts am I on top of a skyscraper? The batshit continues, I have a magical watch, which slows down time around me and I have a wrench as a weapon. The wrench, of course, is not a regular wrench, no no no, this wrench has the properties of a boomerang.

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Final Words:

Here I am then jumping across rooftops slowing down time and throwing my wrench at laser-guided gun turrets. Oh, wait no I’m not, I’ve turned the game off because it’s crap. It’s worse than Tiny Hands Adventure. And one more thing, why in the blue hell can’t I play this in handheld mode? There appears to be no reason for this. If some poor sucker pays for this game then a crime has been committed.

 

star-0

TBG Score: 0/10

Genre: Action, Shooter, Platformer
Players: 1
Publisher: Sometimes You
Release: 05/11/2018
Format: Steam, Nintendo Switch
Website: https://www.sometimesyou.com
Twitter: @Pinkerator
Download link: eShop

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Categories: Game Reviews, Nintendo

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