Spheroids is an awkward and boring platformer that will leave you sad. The game was made using Unity but looks like a free app I downloaded to create my own game, not flattering. A slow loading screen stands between you and the worst Switch game I’ve played to date.
The opening cut scene was cut short by fast text that went on whether you had a chance to read it or not. No one knows what’s going on, but go save the world.
Controls are terrible: A is jump, B is attack, and X is grappling hook. I always revert to pressing B to jump (like most games) and die or take damage. Your weapon is a hook that can shoot up or down. Health points begin at three with a max of five. Upgrades can be purchased using in-game collectables.
If there were a sign that said the collectables were used as money, I missed it. Collect the yellow squares to purchase upgrades such as shield, double hook, and extra life.
There is a box you can enter that fills with water, then drains and you step out. I had no idea what this was until I died and respawned from one. There is little to no explanation for anything in this game. I skipped any cutscenes that followed the first act of gameplay.
Upgrades must be purchased over and over each level. Nothing is permanent and there is no sense of progression in this game.
Infinite lives is a must, ask and you shall receive. Use all of the lives to conquer 32 levels of repetition as you frustratingly “platform” your way to the finish.
Levels have a background to foreground jump mechanic which is a nod to Mutant Mudds. Other than that the levels are uninteresting.
Enemies break into multiple enemies and take one hit each to “defeat” or break down. I only experienced yellow and blue ball enemies, as I quit after a new gravity mechanic stopped working for me. There is a gravity “upgrade” that will reverse gravity and put you on the ceiling (nod to Gravity Guy). There is a level that you must stay on the ceiling and shoot your hooks at enemies on the ground. Your gravity meter starts full and depletes. Mine will be halfway and then I fall to the ground. At this point, I’m done with the game.
I need to circle back around to the controls. They are so terrible. Bad controls contribute to the way this game is terribly built, and I can’t get around it. Maybe that was to scale the difficulty, but it took away from any enjoyment I could have had playing this game. Great example of a game that you should not judge by its cover because the cover is awesome.
I had higher hopes for this game. I sincerely hope the developers can either improve if there is a sequel, or make an entirely new and better game. Nonetheless, I did not enjoy this game at all.
Beard Score: 1/10
Publisher: Eclipse Games
Release: 07/20/2018 (Switch)
Format: PlayStation 4, Nintendo, Xbox, Steam: $7.99