Nintendo

Tiny Hands Adventure – Nintendo Switch

If you’re not one for reading allow me to save you some time. This game is the worst game I have played in recent memory. Intrigued then read on.

Imagine Crash Bandicoot, the first one. It had its problems right, but it was a decent first try, and they got better.

Now imagine Crash Bandicoot half-finished, with the shittest, and I mean the most supremely shittest collision detection you have ever witnessed. Throw in some seventies game show music, bland repetitive level design and a big blue turd of a main character. Now you have Tiny Hands Adventure.

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Tiny Hands is extremely blue

I don’t wish to piss on someone’s parade after all someone has spent a lot of their own time creating this unpleasant turd of a game, but bash my arse this is bad. The e-shop is fast becoming the Steam of the console world, there is naff all in the way of quality control whatsoever. Nintendo used to have a seal of quality, now it appears as though they have adopted a Google play/IOS app store mentality, shovel as much shit in front of the consumers as possible and see what sticks. Shame on you Nintendo and shame on the developers of this half-finished piece of crap.

I let my six-year-old play this before me, and as I sat and watched him play, I thought, my god you’re crap at games. He kept falling off of platforms to his death and getting killed by enemies because he was walking straight into them. I thought I will prise the controller from his hand and show him how it’s done. No such struggle took place, he handed me the controller and said “daddy I don’t like it, it’s not very good” now whilst these were the limited descriptive words of a six-year-old, he was spot on.

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The Verdict

Honestly writing anything else about this game is a waste of your time and mine. It’s a platform game and it’s shit.

 

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Beard Score: 0/10


Genre: Platformer, Adventure, Action, Puzzle
Players: 1
Publisher: Blue Sunset Games
Release: 10/08/2018
Format: Steam, PlayStation 4, Nintendo Switch, Xbox One

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