I mean it’s like somebody is shitting in my eyes. Please, just look really close, you don’t see shit?
So Colonial Marines then, it’s hard to know where to start really, the game had been in development for quite a while and at one point was actually meant for the PlayStation 2. I had high hopes for it as a lover of the Aliens franchise (even 3 and 4 were enjoyable in their own way) and the original story trailer released at the tail end of 2012 actually managed to make me more excited seeing as it became apparent that Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen were reprising their roles from Aliens in some capacity.
I preordered the game, picked up and fired it up only to be greeted by the biggest mess of a game I have ever played, the graphics were appalling and would have been terrible in the PS2s era much less in the same time period as games like Journey, it was buggy as hell with the energy bar seeming to deplete for no reason and with the added bonus of the game repeatedly killing you because the weapons don’t seem to aim properly. The only positive thing I can say for it on any level is that the sound is very good, the pulse rifle sounds authentic but on the whole it just seems as if the people who developed it deliberately ignored 10 years of progress in the first person shooter genre and released a half finished game with a view to cashing in before word of mouth killed it.
The game was so bad that I took it back a week later to try and return and when I was told I had to trade it at a significant loss I didn’t argue the point as at this point I was just desperate to be rid of it. All in all, I would rate it at 0 out of 10. It’s insulting that a game can be released in this shape in this day and age.
Beard Score: 0/10